Big Little Moment #21-Finishing The Honolulu Marathon

All I can say is that I am humbled beyond words.  The 2011 Honolulu Marathon totally kicked my okole.  I went into this race setting a goal of 5 hours since I thought I trained well and 5 hours was the time of my first marathon.  But, God had other plans for me today for these reasons.

#1 I was a nervous wreck.  The week leading up to the marathon was rough.  I did the Xterra 10k Trail Run @ Kualoa Ranch after coming off a cold.  I didn't hydrate enough and drank a huge cup of coffee the night before the race.  Big mistake.  I had to pee so much that I ended up cramping while running up that monster hill during the 1st mile of the trail run race.  Then, I got a migraine and was down and out for 2 days from training.  This really hit my confidence.  Two nights before marathon race day, I couldn't sleep at all.  I think I got a total of 4 hours of sleep combined both nights.  The night before the marathon, it was storming with thunder and lightening.  The news said there was a flash flood and high wind advisory.

#2 Lack of sleep really hit me.  I was so tired during the race that all I could think about was going to sleep.

#3  I was so hungry during the race I had thoughts of stopping off at 7 Eleven to grab a spam musubi!  LOL.

#4 My shoes were killing me!  By mile 9 my feet were hurting, which isn't normal.  But, my running shoes were 2 years old (thought I could use the same shoes since I didn't do much running in them since I was pregnant most of the time I had the shoes).  Being that I'm at home with the kids and not getting paid, tried to save money on shoes.  BIG MISTAKE!

#5 Colds got the better of us.  Maya Bee first got sick from preschool.  Then Bernard got sick and was down and out for a good week and  half.  That meant I had to hold the fort down.  I couldn't go on long runs because Bernard was too sick to take care of the kids while I ran.  Then, 2 weeks before the marathon, I got sick and was down and out for a week and a half.  It was very frustrating.

#6 Finding the time to train was hard since me and Bernard were running the marathon.  Plus, I started training late in the game due to giving birth to Madison in February.  It took a while for my body to even be able to handle running.  I wasn't one of those women who worked out while pregnant.  I was too tired from working full time, taking care of toddler, and being a wife to work out while pregnant.  

#7 I was so worried about Bernard doing this race.  He caught a pretty bad cold and was still coughing phlegm up until race day.  I was so worried that he was going to come down with Pneumonia or something.

But the most amazing thing happened...I got to finish the marathon with the love of my life, biggest supporter, and best friend...my husband Bernard.  I hit a MAJOR WALL at 9 miles.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  My feet were killing me and I kept thinking about how much farther I had to go.  I have ran parts of the marathon route millions of times.  I psyched myself out.  I kept pushing on and eventually picked it up and ran well up until 12 miles.  Then, my body totally gave out.  Everything started to shut down.  I walked and Bernard eventually caught up with me.  I could tell he was in pain.  He told me to keep going, but I decided to stay with him.

Bernard smiled at me and grabbed my hand.  Together we pushed forward.  I was so mad at myself because I knew I could do this, yet my body wasn't allowing me to.  I was struggling to run miles I easily ran during my training runs.  When we hit 18 miles, I stopped and just cried in frustration.  I told Bernard that I wanted to quit.  Through his own pain, he grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes and told me I could do it.  I believed him with all of my heart.  I was so touched that he would put himself second to support me and give me strength.  I knew at that moment how much he really loved me.

The funny thing that also got me going...was seeing those darn Occupy Wall Street protestors holding a sign by Hawaii Kai Costco.  I was so mad that they would even think to protest while I was running a grueling 26.2 miles.  So I started running again.  I also saw one of my best friends' sister, on the side cheering us on.  That gave me strength to keep on going, too.

Through the last grueling 8 miles after I hit my wall, I stuck with Bernard.  I knew in my heart that this was what God wanted for us.  We supported each other and gave each other strength to overcome the pain and fatigue.  When I saw the finish line, I started to tear up.  All I could think about was Maya and Madison.  I remembered again why I did this race in the first place.  I grabbed Bernard's hand and we ran through to the finish line and raised our hands in triumph.  I told him I loved him with all of my heart and broke down in tears.

I'll never forget this day.  Bernard and I have been together for about 11 years, married for 3 years.  We were so young when we first met.  We both had no clue what it really meant to be in love.  But yesterday's marathon helped me to really understand how much B loves me.  I was truly touched by how much Bernard was there for me yesterday.  He swallowed his pain and fatigue to muster up the strength to support me.  I was so proud of him, too.  He ran his personal best and he told me that I also gave him strength to keep on going.  He didn't say it during the race, but he tried hard to keep up with me so he could support me. 

I learned that as long as we stick together and support each other, together, we have the strength to do whatever we dream of.  Alone, we probably would not have been able to do as well at the marathon.

I was also happy to help out my friend.  She was super nervous and scared to run her very 1st marathon.  We started the race together and I encouraged her to not give up.  I even joked with her that she would probably beat me...and she did!  LOL...I am super proud of her.

I was touched by all the support we got from our friends and family.  Everyone was so encouraging.  From my friends praying for me and encouraging me throughout the whole year, to my life group sisters who lent me her running books and encouraging me not to quit earlier in my training, to my friends who came down to the finish line even though they didn't know where we were.  We ended the night with a fun BBQ @ our house with friends.  You folks really made our night.  Bernard and I had so much fun with you folks, we totally forgot about the pain we were in!  LOL!  I also really appreciated my cousin's encouraging text message even though she was super busy.  I was also touched by the friends who tracked me on Facebook as my times were posted.  As we made our way to get our medals and finisher's t-shirt, I saw my mom with Maya and Madison, along with my best friend, whom I've known since Kindergarten.  God bless her for being there to help my mom with the kids.  I broke down again in tears when I saw them.  Just knowing they were waiting for me at the finish line also gave me strength to keep on going.

I guess my biggest downfall with this race was that I let my pride get in the way.  But once I pushed that pride away and humbled myself, I realized how much more this race was than trying to meet a personal goal for time.  This race brought Bernard and I closer together and it taught me that nothing is impossible in life.  Things will be hard, but as long as I have FAITH in God and the love of my family and friends, the sky is the limit!  Instead of being scared of challenges, I need to be excited to take it on.  I need to let God turn my struggles into triumphs.

I am super proud of myself.  I haven't ran in 4 years since I was pregnant in 4 consecutive years.  I gave birth to Madison in February of this year and didn't start officially training for the marathon till August.  When I got the 6 weeks clearance to start running again, I couldn't even run a mile.  I am proud of myself for still training even when Madison wasn't quite sleeping through the night yet.  I am proud of myself for not making excuses and for finding the time to run with two children under the age of 3.

The true test is when I go back to work.  I get a little nervous thinking about how I'm going to balance everything.  God (bible study, devotions, church, ministry), teaching, motherhood, being a wife, having a social life.  I'm afraid I won't be able to do it all.  But one thing I learned is that I have to make time to run.  Running is what keeps me sane.  Running is my mommy alone time.  When I keep that part of my identity, I am a happier person all around.  When my tank is full, I am able to shine brighter in all areas of my life. 

I am excited for 2012!  Bring it on!  There will be lots of changes coming up.  But I know that with God, family, and friends, 2012 will be awesome!